Fiddy's feelin' my style, feelin' my flow...

GOSH! Time flies...

So, ten years ago today was my 17th birthday and the day of my high school graduation. Seems like a MILLION years ago. And how in the hell did my 30-mark roll around so quick anyway? There should be a lot more time between 17 and 30, dammit. In the meantime (while I'm protesting), sing it with me, "Go Shorty. It's your berf-day. Go Shorty. It's your berf-day." If only Fiddy could sing it to me his-self. :o)

Adult Swim should be mandatory.

I, as I'm sure many of you did, lost interest in most regularly scheduled cartoons long ago. But, I guess starting with Beavis and Butthead, I turned over a new leaf in my relationship with animation. I sought out the weird adult-humor driven 'toons. Southpark fell in not long after Cornholio... but none of these ever sparked the love fest that I have with Adult Swim on Cartoon Network. Chocked full of weird shows but peppered with some of the ones you already know so you don't feel too out of place. (my beloved) Family Guy, Futurama, SeaLab 2021, The Venture Brothers and, my personal favorite, Aqua Teen Hunger Force. (notice the pictures I've posted and cry like the jealous bitch you are!) Here in the last month, Adult Swim has started running Seth Green's brainchild - Robot Chicken. Old-school stop-motion animation with outrageous plot lines - toothfairy interrupts a domestic disturbance... ha, hilarious guest voices - Burt Reynolds and Ryan Seacrest were on the last episode I watched - if you haven't seen it yet, you should watch for it. Original if nothing else. Here's a write-up on the series... http://animatedtv.about.com/od/robotchicken/p/robotchicken.htm

An hour later, the poor guy in the Shake suit was rolling around 6th Street in downtown Austin... while everyone watched... and then they put THAT on Adult Swim. LOVE it.

Meatwad gets the honeyz, see?

Shout out to Red Kool Aid - happy 26th, John! 

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for making my car so fast.

Lessons Celebrities Teach Us

God bless ya, Chris Tucker... don't know how many of you caught the sidebar article about the comedian last week, but if you didn't, here's a recap. So, Mr. Tucker gets stopped Sunday, April 17th doing 109mph in his 2005 Bentley on I-20 in Georgia. Well, it actually took them twelve miles and two trucks getting in his way to get him to stop... after he got up to 120mph. Anyway, he apologized and said he didn't hear the sirens or see the lights - he said (and I QUOTE), "All I wanted to do is get to the 11am church services on time." Funnyman now faces a fine of up to $1000 or a year in jail for each of the two offenses (speeding and fleeing).

Lesson learned: FLY to church and make no apologies about it. :o)

Worth more than all the tater tots in the world.

I Heart Napoleon

If there's one memorable movie in the last five years (for me, anyway), it's Napoleon Dynamite. If you are one of the stubborn last few freaks that has yet to see this movie, go now - RUN - and check it out. Maybe it's only hilarious to a certain age group or something, because my boss thinks it was an absolutely retarded movie - says he doesn't get half the jokes in it. Hmmmm... maybe you should meet my boss instead of listening to his critique of Napoleon. I, on the other hand, just can't get enough. I love Napoleon and his little short-bus group of friends. I love Kip's song to LaFonda at the wedding during the credits (which only a handful of people seem to have caught)... "Always and forever." See fo' yo'self. http://www.milkandcookies.com/links/24471/

ACL lineup announced!!!!

I'm so excited... I just can't hide it... (you know the rest - don't act like you don't)

http://www.aclfestival.com/festival/2005_lineup/

SO STOKED - Coldplay! Keane! Tegan and Sara! Arcade Fire! Spoon! Bloc Party! Even my hometown boys - Kermit Ruffins and The Dirty Dozen Brass Band!!!!!

And - as an added bonus - they've decided to listen the number of tickets available by 10,000. More room to suck in the hot dusty air and less people in front of us at the meet and greets. Yay!

I must've been a good girl this year.

Reality TV my way.

Ever watch reality TV? I do - but probably not those shows you're thinking of. Never been much of a Survivor fan (I think there are parts that are definitely scripted/staged) nor did I get hooked on The Amazing Race, Fear Factor or Road Rules (lame, lame and lame)... I like the sleazy reality TV. If I'm gonna watch someone else's reality on TV, it had better serve a purpose. Meaning, I am only going to watch someone else's "reality" if it makes my life better. And I can guaranTEE you... after watching an episode of Cops, Judge Mathis or The People's Court, you will (unless you're a star of one of those shows) most definitely think to yourself, "Hey - my life's not so bad after all! Look at the poor saps on this show!!!" For example, ever catch an episode of Surreal Life on VH1? GOOD LORD!!! These poor people apparently believe that agreeing to live for 14 days in a house with other once-wildly popular celebrities will revive their decrepit career. Well, don't think that's happenin', but they sure are hilarious to watch. If you didn't catch any of the last season, you reallllly missed out. Not sure I've witnessed a funnier celeb moment than when Verne Troyer (aka Mini-Me) got so loaded that he ended the night by peeing on the carpet... naked... from his scooter... with Da Brat watching. Makes my life look like a bowl of cherries!!! http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/the_surreal_life_4/88629/episode_videos.jhtml (click on 'Mini-Me's Gotta Pee' and then tell me how bad your life really is... puts it in perspective, eh?)

Mini-Me's Gotta Pee!

Tasering

Damn you, Jeff Wyrick, for showing me www.big-boys.com... I find myself laughing at the most God awful things. Tasering, for example, has become quite the funny. First, Jeff told me I just haaaaad to see the bull getting tasered. http://www.big-boys.com/articles/bulltaser.html First time around, I thought, "Wow - that's really mean." And about three seconds later, that big ass bull was up - new and improved - ready to kick that dude with the taser's ASS. Then, I watched it again. :o) Funny the second time... hilarious the third time. THEN, I found this clip... the cops getting tasered are MUCH funnier than the poor bull. http://www.big-boys.com/articles/3cops.html

Raising the brown flag.

Hey - I have a bright idea. You know how in coastal areas they have the red flags they fly to signify high tides, etc.? How about if Amarillo flys a brown flag? Let me explain... here recently, David and I flew in from Dallas coming back from a weekend away. As we neared the airport, the cute little flight attendant starts her descent schpiel... "We welcome you to Amarillo where it's partly cloudy and 76 degrees. Blah, blah, blah, blah." Give me the REAL deal, man. Let me know if my nose is going to be assaulted by the lovely smell of a cow's ass when I get off the damn plane. A lot more important to me than how many clouds I'm going to see. My solution to this would be to fly a brown flag. Run it up the flagpole for those reallllly Hereford-y days where the poo invades the air vents in the office. Fly it at half-mast for when you only catch the shit-scent when the wind blows just right... FLY THE BROWN FLAG!!!

Uh, yes, can I get that in the 'no cow ass' smell, please?

Amarillo Weather

Is it May or did I miss something? I thought my eyesite was even worse than I joked about when I saw white stuff in the yard this morning. Went to get my glasses to make sure. Geez - the paper's gonna be covering this story for a week, aren't they? Well, I take that back... there will probably be a lot of wrecks due to the snow, so that will be a hot topic also. Maybe even some that involve cows. Dead cows. That they can publish on the front page.

little cow with your morning coffee?

Family Guy ROCKS.

Is everybody as excited as David and I are about getting to dork out to new Family Guy episodes??? SO happy to have it back. On the other hand - I was hoping for another Seth McFarlane addiction with American Dad, but it ain't looking good. Seems like he expends all of his humor on Family Guy. The A.D. series (both the prelim episode they aired awhile back and the premiere last Sunday) seem like regurgitated material in my opinion... very disappointing. Good thing Family Guy kicked ass!

So glad they're back...